Femme Dorée

Behind the painting

The story of Femme Dorée.

I painted Femme Dorée in 2018. That late spring, I was considering dating again, and my exes seemed to be coming out of the woodwork, trying to talk to me and come back into my life.

I began asking myself why these past toxic relationships wanted to return. I realized they knew how much I would give. They knew I would go above and beyond for them, and I was recognizing how long I had allowed myself to live on breadcrumbs.

She began with a spontaneous thirty-second sketch, inspired by a picture that caught my eye because I thought it was beautiful. I made it my own, and that quick, intuitive sketch became the beginning of the painting.

I chose black and gold because I felt the woman I was painting had a heart of gold, but she had allowed herself to be taken advantage of too much. She reflected what I was beginning to recognize in my own life: how much kindness I had given, and how little I had sometimes accepted in return.

Femme Dorée took about thirty-five hours to create. Painting her was a learning process, and it was the first time I truly used Lumière Inversée. Her metallic gold emerged from matte black through layers of shadow and light, as I learned how to bring her form to life.

This was the first painting that made me feel like a real artist. She holds both that discovery and the personal realization happening alongside it. I was seeing the pattern in my relationships more clearly, while beginning to recognize myself as an artist through my work.

Her story now exists in three forms: the original thirty-second sketch, the finished 2018 painting, and the NFT I have already created. I plan to sell the NFT as a bundle with the original painting.

Acrylic on canvas · 16 × 20 inches · 2018